In the book of Romans, Paul talks about how to deal with our enemies and those who have wronged us. He instructs us on how to deal with others in the follwoing passage.

Rom 12:17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.
Rom 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
Rom 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Rom 12:20 Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

There is one sentence that doesn’t seem to make sense – the one about heaping coals of fire on your enemy’s head.  What did Paul mean by this?  Clearly, it’s not literal.  Paul is not talking about literally putting live hot coals of fire on your enemy’s head.  It’s figurative, but what does it mean? 

We need to look at the context to gain understanding. 

The first verse reads “Repay no one evil for evil”.  If someone hurts us or is rude to us, our carnal nature wants to retaliate.  However, God doesn’t want us to behave like that.  God does not want us to repay evil for evil.

If someone does something evil to us, perhaps saying mean things about us, or being rude to us, what are we to do?  What does God want us to do?  God wants us to let Him take care of the justice, which is why Romans 12:19 says “‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord”. 

Furthermore, God wants us to show the person love, which is why it Romans 12:20 states, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink”.  If we resort to paying back like for like, whether it is being rude or mean, returning evil with evil, we are being evil, and we have been overcome by evil.  If instead, we show love by our actions, then we overcome the evil with good.

The expression in Romans 12:20, “For in so doing [good] you will heap coals of fire on his head” must fit in with the context of loving our enemies.

Your Bible might have that verse in italics or inset.  If so, it is because Paul is quoting directly from Proverbs 25:21-22. 

Pro 25:21  If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
Pro 25:22  For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, And the LORD will reward you.

Knowing this can help us.  The proverb Pauls quotes is in the middle of several proverbs that use physical images to describe emotional reactions.  Right before it is the proverb,

Pro 25:20  Like one who takes away a garment in cold weather, And like vinegar on soda, Is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

This picture of physical discomfort illustrates that trying to make a person in mourning happy just distresses them more. 

The picture of heaping coals of fire on someone’s head as a result of being kind to them also describes an emotional reaction.  What kind of emotional reaction?  They are probably going to feel uncomfortable, maybe a sense of burning shame.

Being kind to our enemies is like “heaping coals of fire on their head” in that it will produce an emotion of burning shame, pictured by the burning coals. 

What else can help us understand the meaning of “heaping coals of fire on his head”?  Coals of fire are symbolic of purifying and purging from sin.  An example of this is found in Isaiah 6:5-7.  This is where Isaiah arrives in vision in the Throne Room of God.

Isaiah 6:5 So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts.”
Isaiah 6:6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar.
Isaiah 6:7 And he touched my mouth with it, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.”

Coals of fire are symbolic of taking iniquity away and purging from sin.

Another example is found in Malachi 3:2-3, which describes the return of Jesus Christ.

Mal 3:2  “But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s fire And like launderers’ soap.
Mal 3:3  He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, And purge them as gold and silver, That they may offer to the LORD An offering in righteousness.

Again, we see the connection of fire with purging from sin and purification. 

Being kind to our enemies is like “heaping coals of fire on their head” in that it will lead them to repentance, pictured by the purifying power of fire. 

Lev 16:12 is also helpful.  Chapter 16 of Leviticus describes what the high priest did on the Day of Atonement.  He took his censer, and filled it with “coals of fire,” and then put the incense on the coals to produce a sweet-smelling aroma.

Lev 16:12  Then he shall take a censer full of burning coals of fire from the altar before the LORD, with his hands full of sweet incense beaten fine, and bring it inside the veil.

We know that the sweet-smelling incense is likened to prayers. 

Rev 5:8  Now when He had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each having a harp, and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.

The coals of fire are necessary to burn the incense to produce the sweet-smelling aroma.

Being kind to our enemies is like “heaping coals of fire on their head” in that it will produce repentant prayer to God, which is like the sweet aroma from burning incense on coals rising to the throne of God. 

In conclusion, repaying a person who has done us evil with good is like “heaping burning coals of fire on his head” in that:

• It will produce an emotion of burning shame, pictured by the burning coals. 
• The shame will lead them to repentance, pictured by the purifying power of fire. 
• The repentance will lead to prayers of confession which are like the sweet aroma from burning incense on coals rising to the throne of God.

The important lesson for us is:

Rom 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.