In several books the apostle Paul instructed the brethren to greet one another with a holy kiss.  For example in Romans.

Rom 16:16  Greet one another with a holy kiss. ….

What is this “holy kiss”?  What was the apostle Paul talking about? 

The Bible doesn’t tell us directly what a holy kiss is, so we have to piece it together by looking at how kissing is used in the Bible. 

Relatives kissed each other

We see that relatives kissed each other.  Jacob’s uncle, Laban kissed his children.

Gen 31:55  And early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place.

The prophet Elisha kissed his parents.

1Ki 19:20  And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah, and said, Please, let me kiss my father and my mother, and I will follow you. …

So, parents and children kissed each other.

Joseph kissed his brothers when he was re-united with them.

Gen 45:15  Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.

Brothers kissed each other.

Moses kissed his father in law.

Exo 18:7  So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, bowed down, and kissed him. And they asked each other about their well-being, and they went into the tent.

Extended family kissed each other.

Kissing was used as an expression of love and affection between family members when greeting each other.

Friends kissed each other

We also see that friends kissed each other.  King David’s son, Absalom, kissed people who came up to greet him.  It’s how he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

2Sa 15:5  And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him.

This cultural norm carried on into the New Testament.  It was commonly accepted for friends or guests to kiss each other.  Christ was invited to eat at a Pharisee’s house.  Christ said to him:

Luk 7:45  You gave Me no kiss, but this woman, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet.

In the parable of the prodigal son, when the prodigal son returned, his father kissed him.

Luk 15:20  “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.

When the apostle Paul departed and said goodbye to the brethren, they kissed him.

Act 20:37  Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him,

Kissing was used as a friendly greeting and an expression of love and affection in New Testament times.  Kissing is also used in the context of sexual love in Song of Solomon.  It is also used in the context of worship a few times.

Meaning of a holy kiss

What was the apostle Paul talking about when he instructed us “Greet one another with a holy kiss”?  Since kissing was a common form of greeting in Paul’s time, he was instructing the brethren to greet each other – to be friendly to each other. 

Paul didn’t introduce some new type of special greeting.  He instructed the brethren to greet each other in a way in which they were familiar.

But why a holy kiss?  Why a holy greeting?  Because some kisses can be insincere.  For example, in 2 Samuel is the account of Joab and Amasa – two military leaders of Israel.  Joab and Amasa were cousins.  They were both nephews of king David.

2Sa 20:9  Then Joab said to Amasa, “Are you in health, my brother?” And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him.
2Sa 20:10  But Amasa did not notice the sword that was in Joab’s hand. And he struck him with it in the stomach, and his entrails poured out on the ground; and he did not strike him again. Thus he died. …

And there is the example of Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss.  Speaking of Judas in Matthew 26 it says:

Mat 26:48  And he who betrayed Him gave them a sign, saying, Whomever I shall kiss, He is the one, lay hold on Him.
Mat 26:49  Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.

Clearly these kisses were not sincere, they were distinctly unholy.

A holy kiss is a sincere one.  So, Paul instructed us to greet each other, and to be sincere.

The apostle Peter gave a similar instruction about greeting with a kiss, in 1 Pet 5:14, but he calls it a kiss of love.

1Pe 5:14  Greet one another with a kiss of love..

We see that a holy kiss is a kiss given in sincerity and love.

The apostle Paul didn’t introduce some new type of special greeting.  He referred to the common form of greeting in his time and instructed the brethren to greet each other in a loving and sincere manner.

How does that translate today?

In Western culture, the common form of greeting is a handshake or hug.  People do sometimes kiss each on the cheek depending on their cultural background.  It is quite common for women to give each other a kiss on the cheek, or for men and women to give each other a kiss on the cheek if they know each other.  However, it’s unusual for men to kiss each other on the cheek when greeting each other.

We should greet other brethren in a way which makes them feel comfortable.  We need to be sensitive to their cultural background and what they are comfortable with.

In conclusion, we’ve seen that a kiss was a form of greeting between family and friends.  When Paul instructed the brethren of his time to “Greet one another with a holy kiss” he didn’t introduce some new type of special greeting.  He simply instructed the brethren to greet each other in a sincere and loving manner.  How that is done exactly depends on the culture.  Today it may take the form of a handshake, a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but however we greet someone we should do it in love and sincerity.