In several of his epistles, the apostle Paul instructs the brethren to greet one another with a holy kiss.  For example in Romans 16:16, Paul writes, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” 

What is a “holy kiss”? 

The Bible doesn’t tell us directly what a holy kiss is, so we have to piece it together by looking at how kissing is used in the Bible. 

Relatives kissed each other

We see that relatives kissed each other.  Jacob’s uncle, Laban kissed his children.

Gen 31:55  And early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place.

The prophet Elisha kissed his parents.

1Ki 19:20  And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah, and said, Please, let me kiss my father and my mother, and I will follow you. …

So, parents and children kissed each other.

Joseph kissed his brothers when he was re-united with them.

Gen 45:15  Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.

Brothers kissed each other.

Moses kissed his father in law.

Exo 18:7  So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, bowed down, and kissed him. And they asked each other about their well-being, and they went into the tent.

Extended family kissed each other.

From these Scriptures we see that kissing was used as an expression of love and affection between family members when greeting each other.

Friends kissed each other

We also see that friends kissed each other.  King David’s son, Absalom, kissed people who came up to greet him.  It’s how he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

2Sa 15:5  And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him.

This cultural norm carried on into the New Testament.  It was commonly accepted for friends or guests to kiss each other.  When Jesus was invited to eat at a Pharisee’s house, Jesus said to him:

Luk 7:45  You gave Me no kiss, but this woman, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet.

In the parable of the prodigal son, when the prodigal son returned, his father kissed him.

Luk 15:20  “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.

When the apostle Paul departed and said goodbye to the brethren, they kissed him.

Act 20:37  Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him,

So we see that throughout the Bible, kissing was used as a friendly greeting and an expression of love and affection. 

The meaning of a kiss

What does Paul’s instruction mean, “Greet one another with a holy kiss”?  Since kissing was a common form of greeting in Paul’s time, it is an instruction for brethren to greet each other – to be friendly to each other.  The apostle Peter gives a similar instruction about greeting with a kiss, in 1 Peter 5:14, which he calls a kiss of love.

1Pe 5:14  Greet one another with a kiss of love.

A “holy kiss” and a “kiss of love” are the same.  The apostles aren’t introducing some new type of special greeting.   Rather, the apostles are instructing the brethren to greet each with the familiar greeting of that time, but to do so in a loving and sincere manner.

But why a holy kiss?  Because some kisses can be insincere.  Here are a couple of examples. 

The first example is the kiss mentioned in the meeting of Joab and Amasa who were cousins and both military leaders of Israel. 

2Sa 20:9  Then Joab said to Amasa, “Are you in health, my brother?” And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him.
2Sa 20:10  But Amasa did not notice the sword that was in Joab’s hand. And he struck him with it in the stomach, and his entrails poured out on the ground; and he did not strike him again. Thus he died. …

The second example is that of Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss.

Mat 26:48  And he who betrayed Him gave them a sign, saying, Whomever I shall kiss, He is the one, lay hold on Him.
Mat 26:49  Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.

Clearly these kisses were distinctly unholy.

A holy kiss is a sincere one; one that is given with love.

Modern equivalent

A kiss on the cheek is still a common greeting in some cultures.  However, in English speaking cultures, the common form of greeting is a handshake or hug, in which case, the equivalent of a “holy kiss” is a “holy handshake” or “holy hug”.

Conclusion

In Biblical times a kiss was a form of greeting between family and friends.  The apostles’ instruction to greet one another with a holy kiss or a kiss of love is not a new type of special greeting.  It is simply an instruction to greet each other in a sincere and loving manner.  How that is done depends on the culture.  Today it may take the form of a handshake, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek, but however we greet someone we should do it in sincerity and love.